How i met your Father


Jokes about life
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in
the car when it crashed into a tree.  Before anyone knows it, the three
men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St.
Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.  "Gentlemen," the Devil started,
"Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to
limit the number of people entering Heaven.  If anyone of you can ask me a
question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to
go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."  The philosopher
then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates'
Socrates' teachings."  With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper
appeared next to the Devil.  The philosopher read it and concluded it was
correct.  "Then, go to Hell!"  With another snap of his finger, the
philsopher disappeared.  The mathematician then asked,"Give me the most
complicated formula ever theorized!"  With a snap of his finger, another
stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and
reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap
of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.  The idiot then stepped
forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"  The Devil brought forward a chair.
"Drill 7 holes on the seat."  The Devil did just that.  The idiot then sat
on the chair and let out a very loud fart.  Standing up, he asked, "Which
hole did my fart come out from?"  The Devil inspected the seat and
said,"The third hole from the right." "Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from
my asshole."  And the idiot went to heaven.

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When it comes to shopping for foundation, our criteria has been the more covert the coverage, the better. But a new generation of smart formulas is changing the game, providing all the benefits of camouflage—long-lasting, skin-matching, barely there—along with several multitasking 2.0 additions that we didn’t even know we needed. Armani’s Designer Lift Smoothing Firming Foundation is inspired by silk Lycra, supporting the skin with a slight lift while simultaneously concealing imperfections. Maybelline’s new Fit Me Foundation forgoes waxes and oils in favor of a translucent coating that allows your actual skin to make an appearance, while Skinleÿa by Sisley offers a prescription of choice anti-aging additives to smooth complexions while its gel-cream texture disguises blemishes. Diorskin Nude Air Serum is as fluid as they come, with a sheer texture that melts seamlessly into skin. Whether you’re after wrinkle-resistant color correction, weightless coverage, or a full day of budge-proof perfection, here are nine new foundations to manage your every complexion want and need.

 

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