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 Little Johnny jokes
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.  "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.  'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question.  "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"  And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.  This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted

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9 New Foundations That Are Changing the Coverage Game

When it comes to shopping for foundation, our criteria has been the more covert the coverage, the better. But a new generation of smart formulas is changing the game, providing all the benefits of camouflage—long-lasting, skin-matching, barely there—along with several multitasking 2.0 additions that we didn’t even know we needed. Armani’s Designer Lift Smoothing Firming Foundation is inspired by silk Lycra, supporting the skin with a slight lift while simultaneously concealing imperfections. Maybelline’s new Fit Me Foundation forgoes waxes and oils in favor of a translucent coating that allows your actual skin to make an appearance, while Skinleÿa by Sisley offers a prescription of choice anti-aging additives to smooth complexions while its gel-cream texture disguises blemishes. Diorskin Nude Air Serum is as fluid as they come, with a sheer texture that melts seamlessly into skin. Whether you’re after wrinkle-resistant color correction, weightless coverage, or a full day of budge-proof perfection, here are nine new foundations to manage your every complexion want and need.
When it comes to shopping for foundation, our criteria has been the more covert the coverage, the better. But a new generation of smart formulas is changing the game, providing all the benefits of camouflage—long-lasting, skin-matching, barely there—along with several multitasking 2.0 additions that we didn’t even know we needed. Armani’s Designer Lift Smoothing Firming Foundation is inspired by silk Lycra, supporting the skin with a slight lift while simultaneously concealing imperfections. Maybelline’s new Fit Me Foundation forgoes waxes and oils in favor of a translucent coating that allows your actual skin to make an appearance, while Skinleÿa by Sisley offers a prescription of choice anti-aging additives to smooth complexions while its gel-cream texture disguises blemishes. Diorskin Nude Air Serum is as fluid as they come, with a sheer texture that melts seamlessly into skin. Whether you’re after wrinkle-resistant color correction, weightless coverage, or a full day of budge-proof perfection, here are nine new foundations to manage your every complexion want and need.

 

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